When writing for business purposes, I’ve noticed that using third person often bogs down the message and creates hefty baggage in the word count. That poor writer! But worse yet, that poor reader!
How can we change that? Or can we at all?
I’m arguing for a shift depending on the writer’s goal and audience.
First, if it’s a tiny company, fewer than 20 people, why can’t writers use “I”? If it is a memo that lists the goals of the day or week, why not use first person?
EX: “By the end of the week, I need timesheets from everyone.”
“I want to hear feedback on this proposal by Tuesday.”
Yet, some will argue that business writing still needs strike formality and remain in third person.
In her online article, “Talk, Tips, and Best Picks for Writers on the Job,” Lynn Gaertner-Johnson suggests that writers can skillfully avoid the folksy “we” but avoid verbosity.
She suggests using nouns in place of names or pronouns. She’s right, and it works. So, if you work for a small company of engineers working on solar energy, a communications director could write it like this to avoid pronouns.
“In yesterday’s test, our engineers discovered that the filament used on the solar panel worked well.”
This is a clear option for writing in first person, and it avoids the homey “we.”
Finally, within your small company or even department, I would strongly suggest relaxing the tone, using first person. Doing so will make the message clear, the writing easier to complete, and the reader’s job short and sweet.